bliss is being seen

another brilliant jen lemen post. check out her blog!!!

bliss is being seen

I’ve decided that one of the most powerful things that can happen to you is being seen for who you really are and loved deeply at the same time. This requires actual eye contact sometimes, but also a more subtle way of knowing. Too much closeness or familiarity with the other and you can think you have it all locked up. Utter the words, I know you. I know how you are, (add a little flavor of disdain or boredom) and you’ve all but sealed your fate of misunderstanding.

No, to know is to say yes to the not knowing.
 

To know is to say I see you–these little glimpses here and there, and they are beautiful to me, even if they are the very things that make you fragile or flawed or ridiculous or frail. Even if the rest of you escapes me and I have no words to describe.

This year on my birthday I had the blessing of feeling seen. Presents are not the thing around here–no one cares that much about the formality of that on birthdays (thank god) and we’d all just rather be together–but this year was different. Everyone brought a little something from their heart, until I had a small collection of artifacts that represented the young and tender parts of me perfectly–all from a different faction of my tribe, most of whom were present for a fine feast of chili and cornbread.

It was one of the kindest birthdays I’ve ever had.

I wish my camera was back from Nikon. I would take a picture. But here’s the list:

A red tea kettle
warm wool knee socks like the kind we wore in third grade
a thoughtful journal
boxes and boxes of tea
bars and bars of fine dark chocolate
a beautiful rust colored silk scarf
a lovely forest green pull over
a soft yummy hoodie hand carried from Bolivia
a silk sleep sack from a fellow world traveler
a book of poetry
and last but not least, a pink ukelele (i know! i’m in love!)

What I love about this list is how ordinary it is. I mean really, how many 42 year old women in America would be thrilled beyond words to receive any one of the above items? We are a predictable demographic with our propensity for fine fibers, organic anything and lovely earth bound colors. Still, not all of these leanings are celebrated. Often, they are gently mocked, and so we sometimes are ashamed to love what we love and we feel slightly foolish for the degree to which such simple things delight us.

If only I could go back to third grade and stay there. Or maybe I already have. My list then would be identical to my list now, no exceptions. With each offering was the warmth of knowing that person really sees me and knows how much I care.

I hope today that you are able to quiet the part of you that feels ridiculous for loving what you love. And I hope just one time in your life, whether you are standing in a field in a faraway country or in your very own kitchen, you have the bliss of being seen and know deep deep down that you are welcomed, that you truly belong.

Comments today are for declarations and wishes. Share what you would like to be seen about you. It can be rant-like or plaintive. Just saying so will move the furniture around in the Universe, so it can someday soon be so.